MONICA

As a child I lived an amazing life. My parents were very supportive and loving. They taught me great values. I was taught at an early age to have faith and trust in the Lord. We attended church every Sunday as a family. I have wonderful and amazing memories growing up. It all changed when I became an adult; I was married for 7 years, had two beautiful children. Even though I waited to have kids three years into my relationship, my marriage failed because my husband could not stop drinking, gambling, keep a job and most important honor his marriage vows. I knew this was not the life I wanted for my children. I left when my children were very little. My ex-husband did not make things easy; he never paid a dime of child support and I worked 60 to 80 hours a week to give my children the life I had and also to try to make up for their missing father. He was never involved in their lives and the first year made things very difficult for me. He threatened me and tried to cause issues for me at work so I would get fired. He made this very hard. This tested my faith but I knew that this would make me stronger and that I could share my experiences with other single young mothers and they could to see the light at the end of the road. I accepted my marriage failure, even though it was not easy because at first and I was very mad and bitter, but time does heal all and faith guides us through.

Later, I thought I had finally found the right mate – a man that loved me, and my kids as his own. He supported my career and helped me with my kids. I felt my life was complete, and was sharing with other woman that happiness does exist and even if you failed once; God would bless you someday with the right person. I felt happy and complete but about four years ago I learned that the last 10 years of my life had been a lie and my nightmare started. This man that seemed so wonderful and caring was a complete lie; a stranger. He was someone I never knew and not the man that I thought he was. He fooled every one including friends, family, neighbors and our pastor. All of us were shocked! He not only used me but hurt me in the biggest way a person could hurt another human. He stole my little girl’s innocence and several others. He knew he needed to get out so he lied and said he needed help because he had become an alcoholic. He went away to a rehabilitation program and during that time my children told me he had molested my little girl for about 8 years. He had brain washed both of them to believe that because of my previous history with my ex I would not be able to handle the truth and would get very ill. My life had been such a lie. It seemed like every day after that I learned more ugly things about this man and it left me feeling like I wanted to die. I could not believe why this had and was happening. It tested my faith more than ever before and I began to doubt my beliefs, my faith, God and the world. How could this happen? I had always tried to be a good person/woman/mom/daughter/sister. So many times I asked WHY?? I still do not understand but must trust my faith. I do know now that I had to live that nightmare because I needed to be the voice for women, men, my children and others. Have faith, and believe and trust in the Lord.

One out of four children are abused or molested by someone they know. We need to speak out and do something. Parents should listen to their children; stand up for them, do something if this has happened or is happening. Yes we may be embarrassed but it’s not our fault. Do something to stop them and let the law punish them. We can’t allow these people to continue to hurt our loved ones. The system is there to help. We need to get them in jail away from hurting other beautiful children. These children should not feel like they did something wrong and we need to fight for their rights. A child should feel able to go to their loved ones and ask for help, just as a parent should be strong enough to be able to handle it and do something. I know now that this is why New Spirit came about; it’s my light, my hope and the bird that allows me to spread my wings and do something, help those in need. New Spirit allows me to fly free and speak out, to fight back and to trust, believe and see Gods hand in our daily walk.

Monica
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